One & The Same

let grace fill your gaps

I was scrolling down my Pinterest when this particular quote caught my eye. I clicked on it and the words filled my screen. I laid there and stared at them, really allowing them to wash over me. The longer I looked at them, the better they seemed to get.

Since I came into contact with that quote, it’s stuck with me. I now have it as my screensaver on my phone, my tagline for this blog, a new tattoo idea (sorry mom), and it’s running through my mind multiple times a day. As I’ve covered my life with this quote, I’ve considered what it actually means for me. How do I let grace fill my gaps? Can I? Why would I? What does it mean for me to do so? These are all things that I have chewed on for a few days now, and as I have, the taste of these words have only gotten sweeter.

God’s grace is beautiful.

God’s grace is the waterfall we stand beneath, being soaked to the bone without ceasing by it’s pounding streams. Grace is the distance from East to West. Grace is the amount of stars that we can count while we lie in the grass on a warm, summer night. Grace is the blood of a Savior that covers us from head to toe, not missing one inch of who we are. Grace is the forgiveness we never deserved from a God who never deserved the pain we’ve caused Him. Grace is the righteousness seen by God when He looks at us once we’ve entered into a relationship with Him.

So what does it mean then, to let this grace that the Lord lavishes upon me to fill my gaps? For me, it means a few different things.

It means being honest about who I am and where I’m at when I approach the Lord. Instead of trying to have everything in order and doing my very best to be the “perfect Christian,” it means that I come to Him in a state of disorder and sin, asking Him to somehow use it for His glory. It’s letting Him know that I’m not trusting Him how He’s asked me to and that once again, I’ve tried to control my life and I’ve fallen flat on my face. It’s coming to Him broken and helpless because the only way to become whole is by the grace that He fills the cracks with and that gives me the strength to take another step toward Him. It’s allowing His grace to bring redemption and healing to the ugliness of my life. 

It means running to Him for the truth about who I am to Him. When the world tells me that I have to be a size 4 with a flat stomach and a large chest, He tells me that it isn’t the outward appearance, but the heart that matters. When society tells me that I have to be independent and strong, He tells me that I can’t make it through this life without Him and that He is my true strength. When I believe the lies that somehow I’m not good enough because of past experiences, He tells me that I’ve been made new and that I’m worth His Son hanging on a cross so He could have a relationship with me. It’s believing that grace has washed away the old and has brought in the new. 

It means begging God to be my one, true desire. That only He can satisfy my heart in a way that is overflowing. It’s recognizing that this fissure that has taken form in my very core can only be filled by Him. There is nothing in this world that has the capability of filling the spaces of my soul. No amount of friends, attention from a guy, good grades, job opportunities, pounds lost, possessions owned, or experiences had can do what I am asking them to do. Only the Lord can love me, take care of me, bring me joy, offer me healing, and restore the brokenness of my life. It’s knowing that His grace is the only thing that will ever make those spaces disappear. 

let grace fill the gaps

This means that when nothing else makes sense, when everything seems to be in chaos, when the pain is just so deep, that I fill my life with the promises of the Almighty God. I cling to the truth that He’s given me in scripture and meditate on it daily. It means that I beg Him to move in my life even when it seems like nothing is ever going to happen. It’s laying everything at His feet because there’s no better place for it. It’s moving myself out of the way and allowing Him to fill my life with Himself. 

Because He and grace are one and the same.

{2 Corinthians 12:9}