The Truth about Depression 2.0

Three years ago I wrote about my struggle with depression. At that point in time, I was unable to get up out of bed to do normal life. I wasn’t showering, eating, or participating in every day activities because they all seemed somewhat meaningless and cost me too much energy. My schooling suffered big time, along with other areas of my life. Fighting my depression was a full time job that took everything I had.

Today, I’m able to get up, shower, eat my breakfast, and face my days without too much trouble. I’ve officially graduated college (with that 3.0, dang it!), I’ve lived in another country on my own for the last two months, and am successfully contributing to all of my relationships. From the outside, it would appear to the naked eye that my depression is resolved and “cured.”

But, sadly, that just isn’t how depression works.

The second truth about depression is that for most people it is a continual battle. It’s one that is silent and fought on an inward front. It may not be big, full-frontal attacks – in fact most of it isn’t. Instead, the war consists of many small attacks.

It’s waking up one morning feeling slightly empty and unsure of my purpose in the world. It’s the inability to produce the energy for an extremely simple task just because I’ve emotionally given too much of myself that day. It’s having to be aware of my surroundings and what I fill my mind with because too much of something negative sends me into a spiral. It’s continually having to remind myself that just because I struggled a little more than usual today doesn’t mean I’m falling into a deep pit again.

As I said before, the battle of depression is long. For many people, it’s lifelong and can feel as if it’s a battle that is useless fighting because you just can’t quite beat it completely.  Even more so, it’s a battle that a lot of people expect you to be able to win after one fight. Just as physical illnesses are treated quickly, so is the expectation for mental illnesses. So many people have this idea that because I’m on medicine and I haven’t had a really low spell in a while I’m over my depression.

Oh, how I wish that were true, dear friends. Just as the last time though, there is a far greater truth that allows me to continue this fight and it’s that God is far greater than my struggle.

2 Corinthians 1:4&5 says, “He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so through Christ our comfort also overflows.”

As Christians, we will suffer. It’s guaranteed because Christ Himself suffered. We aren’t exempt from it. But, we find that we receive love and comfort from a God who knows exactly what we are struggling with. In Jesus, I find that I have arms to lean into, arms that will carry me all the way. There is light that will push the darkness out to the farthest edges.

So yes, depression is a battle I will fight for the rest of my life. But, it is a battle that I can continuously conquer because the Lord gives me the ability to do so.