“Single” is a Four Letter Word

“You’re almost 25 and you don’t even have a boyfriend? Why?”

I take a deep breath to keep myself from saying anything ugly in response. I close my eyes for a moment to gather my emotions and thoughts into one place. When I open them to stare this guy in the face, I smile softly.

“I guess the right one just hasn’t come along yet.”

In the last few weeks, this has been a question that I have been asked several times. The first time I responded with a jar full of attitude and threw it back in their face. “Why does it matter if I’m 24 and single? What’s wrong with it? Why can you be 30 and single, but I can’t be? What kind of standard is that?”

The poor guy looked like he wanted to melt into a puddle.

While I was left satisfied with his expression, I felt completely hollowed out and angry with the question.

Why am I almost 25 years old and still single?

There’s this expectation in this world that if you don’t find the person you love by the time you’re in your mid-twenties then you never will. I am someone who is guilty of thinking this way. I hoped, even expected, to have met someone and been married by the time I’m 25.

But that is not how it’s going for me. At all.

I have plead, begged, and bargained with God for my future husband. I have screamed, cried, and remained silent for hours when talking to Him about it. Most days, I’m at peace with the answer I’ve been given. Other days, I can’t get close enough to the Lord for Him to relieve the ache.

“Wait.”

“But, Lord, everyone else…”

“Wait.”

“Okay, but what about…”

“Wait.”

“Lord…”

“Wait.”

Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (NIV)

When a verse repeats a phrase, it means to pay extra attention to what’s being said. David is reminding himself that it’s vital to wait on the Lord – to watch as He does what He promises to do. Something we often forget to do.

I want a boyfriend. I want to be married. I want a family and my own home. These are all things that I want more than almost anything else in the world. They are good desires given to me by the Lord Himself. But, they can’t be my goal. They can’t be what I live for day in and day out.

My life is to glorify God and God alone. That is the purpose and goal of my time here on earth.

In 1 Corinthians 7:7&8 Paul encourages single Christians to see what singleness really is,

“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” (NIV)

In my time alone, I have full freedom to give all of my time and attention to the Lord. I have the ability to grow in my faith in ways that my friends no longer have the chance to do. I can go anywhere the Lord asks me to go because I have no ties to anyone or responsibilities to anything. I have been given the chance to fall deeply in love with my Creator on my own.

Being single is definitely a four letter word – it is a gift.